Draco's Kitty Catastrophe
by Kotodashi Kyoshi
Summary: Draco looses a bet, he has to pick an animal to be transfigured into, then has to pick a member of the Golden Trio to figure out it's him and change him back. Three guesses who he picked, but you'll only need one.


Writing this for the QLFC Kenmare Kestrels. Prompt is write about someone turning into a household pet (by choice or otherwise) and living as one for a while.

When I first wrote this it had to be shortened to 3000 words or less so I'm reposting the original in all its extra glory.

I'm writing this in first person which I know for some reason a lot of people hate but I kinda figured what better way to write this prompt than through the eyes of the person that is the pet, you know? No? Alright, well anyways….

Disclaimer: As always…. I own nothing. I need a stamp or something at this point.

* * *

It's been a week, one entire week since the bet, the longest week in the history of long weeks. One whole week since I, Draco Abraxas Malfoy, lost a bet and was turned into a cat by my best friends then told that I had to find a member of the Golden Trio to change me back.

Yes, you heard me right, the stupidest bet of all time over an even more stupid game of Quidditch. One of the few times Krum doesn't catch the Snitch and it just had to be at THAT game. So, the bet was that the loser had to pick an animal to be transfigured into, and here's the best part (or worst depending on how you look at it), find their way to a member of the Golden Trio to change them back.

Three guesses as to who I picked but you'll only need one, I obviously chose the smartest of the three of them. I remembered that she had a cat back in school, mangy old thing, so of course I chose something that I thought would pull at her heartstrings. I'd rolled my eyes the best I could as a cat when I caught a glimpse of myself in a shop window. But it had worked like a charm.

* * *

" _You're really gonna choose a cat? I thought you would have chosen a ferret and gone straight to Potter," Blaise chuckled as I threw my sweater at Theo._

" _I mean, I think it's genius to pick Granger. Out of the three of them she's gonna figure it out the fastest. Plus, she's fit, you have to admit that spending time with her won't exactly be hard on the eyes," Theo waggled his eyebrows at me._

 _I looked at him in annoyance but I shrugged in agreeance. The years had been kind to Granger, we'd been out of school for almost ten years, she'd grown into a woman and I'd be crazy to pretend like I hadn't noticed. We worked together at the Ministry, our offices literally across from each other, of course I'd noticed. As had every other male on our floor._

" _Can we just get this over with already?" Most of my clothes were now in a pile at Theo's feet and I was going to try and catch Granger on her way home. She liked to walk through Diagon Alley, don't ask me how I know that._

" _Alright, mate, we'll be watching," Blaise smirked at me as he waved his wand and suddenly I was shrinking and growing fur in places one should never have fur._

" _Meow."_

^-.-^ ^-.-^ ^-.-^

 _I look like a marshmallow, my fur is long and there is so much of it it's ridiculous, and so white. Why did it have to be white? It rained today, I'm gonna be a dirty mop before I even come across her. That might not actually be bad though because she'll pity me and take me in and then I can get her to figure out its me and this will be over in no time._

 _She shouldn't be much longer, she normally walks by this shop around this time, don't ask me how I know that. Ah, there she is, ok here it goes._

" _Meow," I walk right up to her and look up at her with the biggest eyes I can manage._

 _She smiles down at me and keeps walking, so I pad along after her. She looks down a few moments later and chuckles, "what are you doing down there?"_

" _Meow," I wind around her legs and stand in front of her making her stop._

 _She looks down at me curiously before bending down to pick me up, "hmm, no tags. You're too pretty to be a wild cat," she holds me out to look me over._

 _Pretty. Never a word I wanted to be called in my life, ever. But I suppose there are worse things. I reach out and pat her on the nose with a well-manicured paw. She laughs and tucks me into the crook of her arm, "I suppose you're hungry, aren't you? I'm sure I have something at home to feed you, then I'll floo the Menagerie to see if you belong there."_

 _Of course, I have no plans of it even getting that far before I'm back to my human self._

* * *

Needless to say, it went that far, she tried feeding me some old cat food she had left over from when her other cat was still alive. Crookshanks, I found out, was his name. When I wouldn't eat it, she floo'd the Menagerie and of course they said they weren't missing an animal. So, she opened the door to try and let me go, but I just sat there and looked at her like she was crazy.

Then I'd turned to go about trying to figure out how to get her to realize that it was me, and obviously that didn't turn out so well.

* * *

 _Ok, she should be back from work any moment now, where did I put that paper? Oh, there it is. This is gonna work, it has to, I'm not sleeping here again as a bloody cat. Yesterday didn't go so well but I've had all day to prepare._

 _My ears swivel back as I hear the sound of the front door opening, so I grab the overly large issue of the Daily Prophet in my mouth and start dragging it to the door. Then I hear another set of footsteps and the voice of an all too familiar person accompanying Granger into her flat._

" _Sorry about this, Granger, I hope I'm not intruding," Theo's voice drifted from the front hall._

 _I drop the paper and run over to them, sitting right in the doorway so that they have no choice but to see me. He probably took pity on me and has come to rescue me._

" _Oh, not at all, I can't believe I forgot the files here, they're in a safe that I have warded against all charms and spells, that's why I couldn't just Accio them. Not that I would want to Accio them across town and through the Ministry."_

 _She turns and looks at me, smiling as she reaches down to pick me up, "this would be the reason I forgot them. I found him yesterday on my way home, pretty thing won't leave, I think he's a stray."_

 _Theo stifles a chuckle as she shows me off to him, reaching out to pet me, my ears flatten, and I hiss at him, realizing that he has not in fact come to rescue me._

" _I'm sorry, maybe he doesn't like men. I haven't decided if I'm going to keep him or not," she sets me down and heads off to her room._

 _Theo bends down and whispers, "oy, mate, I figured you'd be out of this by now. Have you even tried to clue her in or are you enjoying being fawned over and called a pretty kitty?"_

 _I give him my best cat glare and hiss at him again, reaching out to hit him with my paw._

^-.-^ ^-.-^ ^-.-^

I'll bet Theo went home and floo'd Blaise to tell him everything, slimy git. Granger had invited him to stay for tea, and they sat and talked for a while. I had perched at the top of the table and glared at him the whole time. If I didn't know any better, I'd say they were much better acquaintances than Theo had let on. But he hasn't stopped by for the rest of the week.

In fact, no one has stopped by. Not even Weasley or Potter. I had thought that Weasley and Granger were dating, but she's been home after work every night this week and he hasn't been here. Pity, I would have liked to cough up a fur ball on him.

Yes, I've coughed up fur balls, I've been a cat for a week what did you expect?

So back to that, my many attempts at getting Granger to figure out my little problem were for naught. She's supposed to be the brightest witch of our age, but bloody hell that woman gets distracted easily.

* * *

" _I think I'm going to keep you, kitty. But if you're going to stay here then you need a name, hmm…what should we call you?"_

 _I jump down from where I'm sitting on her kitchen table and pad over to her bookshelf. There's a book about dragons I saw the first day I got here, now if I could only get it down. Jumping up onto the first shelf I reach a paw up to where it's sitting on a shelf above me, but all I manage to do is knock down a round glass ball on a stand._

 _She looks around the corner from the kitchen to see what the noise was, "kitty! What are you doing?" she picks up the ball and there are things floating around in it and I find myself reaching a paw up to bat at it. Three days as a cat is going to my head._

 _Looking from me to the ball, she grins and sets it back up on the shelf, then picks me up and grabs a book she's been reading. Sitting in the loveseat, she tucks me onto her lap and starts petting me. At first, I struggle to get down, it's weird being held and pet by her, but then she picks me up under my arms to look at me, "so you like the snow globe huh? You are white, strangest grey eyes on a cat I've ever seen, maybe I'll call you Stormy."_

 _Stormy? No, I wanted to get the book on dragons to clue her in to Draco, but I get Stormy? Something tickles my whiskers and I sneeze, something she thinks is apparently cute because I find her face very close all of a sudden as she nuzzles her nose against mine before setting me back down on her lap and opening her book._

 _Strangely, I feel content, even though the name Stormy is terrible…I suppose it could be Crookshanks._

^-.-^ ^-.-^ ^-.-^

 _I manage to find a picture of a dragon in the newest edition of the Daily Prophet. Using my teeth and my paws I tear it out and bring it to her bedroom where she's currently drinking a glass of elvish wine and chatting up the youngest Weasley. They have been going through her closet to find something to wear for the night out they are about to have._

 _I take a running jump to get onto her overly high bed, but before my paws even touch her comforter I'm scooped up by the redhead._

" _Hermione, he's so cute! I can't believe he was just wandering the streets, he's impeccably groomed for a stray," she rakes her nails through my fur and rubs her thumbs across my face. I have found myself on occasion not minding when Granger does it, but it's unwanted from the Weaselette so I hiss and struggle to get away._

" _What do you have there, Stormy?" Granger sets her glass of wine down and takes the piece of paper out of my mouth. She examines the back and front and makes a face like she's thinking about something._

" _What is it?" the redhead asks._

 _Granger shakes her head, "nothing. I just realized that Draco hasn't been at work all week."_

 _My ears perk up at the mention of my name, my first name and not my last. I cock my head to the side, "meow."_

 _She looks at me for a second before Weasley laughs and gets up to pour herself another glass of wine, "speaking of dreamy Slytherins, I heard Theodore Nott came over a few days ago. Something about picking up files? Were they so important he had to come home with you to get them or was it just a clever ploy to spend time with him?"_

 _I flatten my ears against my head and look at Granger, she rolls her eyes and sets her wine down and the paper with it. "I had them stored away in my safe, those aren't the kind of files you would want lying around. He said he needed them right away and it couldn't wait till the next day."_

" _You know, you're going to have to move on at some point, Hermione. My brother is stupid and honestly, he did you a favor by breaking things off. Now you have the chance to find someone who can truly appreciate how brilliant you are, like Theodore Nott."_

" _Ginny! What would Harry say if he heard you talking like that?! Besides, I'm over the whole thing with Ron, really, I am. Theo is so not my type, sure he's absolutely brilliant but I like…I don't know, guys with more substance than that."_

 _I puff out my chest, for some reason glad to hear her confession that Theo wasn't her type because I know he would jump at the chance if she gave it to him. So I, "meow," in agreement._

 _She looks at me and smiles, reaching over to scratch behind my ears, "anyways I have Stormy now, and my career. I don't need a man."_

" _You can't be serious, Hermione," the redhead rolls her eyes, "you're not going to become a cat lady for the rest of your life. Just ask him already."_

 _Her hand freezes on my head and then she turns back to her closet, "ask who what? I'm not sure what you're on about, Gin."_

 _I find myself being scooped up in the other girl's arms and I instantly struggle to try and get away letting out a yowl that goes unheard. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, you may be able to hide it from everyone else, but I know you better than anyone, Hermione. I know you have a crush on the baddest Slytherin of them all."_

 _Both Granger and I freeze with her words. I don't even mind when the redhead starts to stroke my head while smirking at the brunette that is now staring at her in shock._

" _I know you have a crush on Draco Malfoy."_

* * *

Ok, so now if I'm being honest, I was too distracted after that. Watching Granger choke on her wine and adamantly refute the redhead's accusation was kind of adorable, and actually kind of solidified the accusation itself. Which is something I never would have believed had I not heard it with my own ears.

So since then, for the past two days I've been strutting around her flat like a peacock. I've had a crush on the witch for a while now, never thought I'd actually have a chance with her! I figured the closest I would ever get to her was at work, and the occasional time she's let me sleep at the foot of her bed.

Hold on I feel a fur ball coming on.

^-.-^ ^-.-^ ^-.-^

Ok I'm back. I also made sure to bring a figurine of a dragon that I found under the couch. Not sure what it was doing there, but a week as a cat has been long enough for me. It's time to pull out all the stops and figure out how to make this witch realize that I'm not really a cat.

My ears swivel as I hear the front door open, it's too early for her to be home though. I jump down from my place on her bed when I hear the loud thundering voice of none other than Harry Potter himself.

"Draco Malfoy, get your furry butt out here now!"

I freeze and turn back to hide under the bed when I feel a strong grip on my neck and suddenly I'm hanging in the air staring at a lightning bolt shaped scar. I hiss and start to struggle but his wand is out and suddenly I'm heavy and falling to the ground.

Let me just tell you that hissing noises weren't meant to come from humans.

"You had better start explaining, now." Harry says, still holding his wand towards me.

I lift my hands in surrender, "I will explain everything, but if you don't mind I'd like some clothes and to get out of here before Hermione comes home."

He narrows his eyes at me but nods in agreement. As we apparate, it occurs to me that I called her Hermione.

* * *

So apparently Potter was on his way to Hermione's office when he passed by Theo's office and overheard him and Blaise talking about her. He stopped outside the room to listen in and heard them talking about how a week was long enough and how I had obviously failed to fulfill my mission, so steps had to be taken to save me from her flat.

It had all gone downhill from there, Potter stormed in and demanded to know what they had been talking about. Anything having to do with Hermione and I couldn't possibly be good in his eyes. So of course, Theo and Blaise had no choice but to tell him what happened.

So here we are, sitting across from each other in a small café at the very end of Diagon Alley and giving a whole new meaning to the term "staring contest."

"You should have come to me, Malfoy," he breaks eye contact with me and I can't help but smirk in triumph.

"Why wouldn't I have picked her, Potter? She's the smartest one of us all isn't she?"

He snorted and pushed his glasses up his face, "then why did you spend a whole week as a cat hanging out in her flat? You obviously didn't try very hard to get her to figure it out."

I can feel my cheeks turning warm and I look anywhere but at him while I try to come up with a good explanation for that one. I did try...ok so maybe I didn't try my hardest. I obviously enjoyed her company, ok?

He gives me a look of disbelief, "Merlin's beard, you fancy her, don't you?"

"So, what if I do?" I snap back before I even realize I'm answering.

He sits there in silence and actually looks like he's mulling it over for a few minutes before replying, "if you hurt her, I will personally hunt you down and make you wish you had never even stayed in London after the war."

I fix him with my meanest Malfoy glare, "it's been years, Potter. People change."

"You better hope so, Malfoy."

* * *

Monday morning rolls around quicker than I had anticipated, the rest of the weekend had been spent taking the longest showers of my life and eating all my favorite foods in the comfort of my own flat.

I was dreading having to face her, but it was inevitable, seeing as how we worked in the same department.

 _I just realized that Draco hasn't been at work all week_.

Her words have been replaying in my mind over and over again. If she's even the slightest bit interested you would think it would be easy to just go right up to her and ask her out, right?

I feel like I'm going to cough up a fur ball. I'm not even kidding I've been coughing them up all weekend. Did I mention that my fur had been extremely long?

I walk slowly through the Ministry, taking my time at the lift and then slowly walking through my floor to make it to my office. I peek into hers as I walk past, her door is open and she's hovering over paperwork that's spread out across her desk.

I turn away to open the door to my own office when I hear her voice behind me, "Malfoy, you're back. I didn't know you were going on holiday."

Turning back towards her, I ready the best smile I have in my arsenal when the look on her face causes it to disappear, "Granger, you look like you've just lost your best friend. What's wrong with you?"

She visibly shrinks into herself and wipes at her eyes as if she's been crying, which it looks as if she has. "It's nothing, stupid really, anyways welcome back."

I frown and step into her office, "really, Granger, what's wrong?"

She looks at me suspiciously before dropping her eyes to her paperwork, "I took in a stray cat last week, after a few days I decided to keep it but over the weekend it must have gotten out and I haven't seen it since."

I couldn't help the giant smile that spreads across my face and of course she mistakes its meaning. "Shut it, Malfoy. I know it's stupid."

I shake my head, smile still wide on my face, "I didn't say it was stupid at all, Granger." I sit down on the other side of her desk, "why don't you tell me all about this cat of yours."

She looks up at me through those thick lashes of hers and gives me a small smile. I swear my heart stops for a moment.

Maybe it's just another fur ball.


End file.
